For those of you who don't know, Kristen has finally moved into TH-413.
Which means she no longer thinks I am crazy when I mention the fact that we have squirrels living in our attic.
And now it means that the squirrels have to come out.
Figures. They owed me two months rent.
So, Kristen being the Type-A personality go-getter that she is, (vs the "wait and see" approach exhibited by her husband) we contacted the local handyman and his partner.
Here's where the sitcom comes in.
We've got a handyman who is afraid of "critters". His partner is deathly afraid of heights. We've got critters in our attic, which of course, are coming in through a hole in the roof:
EXT. TH-413 - LADDER OUTSIDE BEDROOM WINDOW.
Which means she no longer thinks I am crazy when I mention the fact that we have squirrels living in our attic.
And now it means that the squirrels have to come out.
Figures. They owed me two months rent.
So, Kristen being the Type-A personality go-getter that she is, (vs the "wait and see" approach exhibited by her husband) we contacted the local handyman and his partner.
Here's where the sitcom comes in.
We've got a handyman who is afraid of "critters". His partner is deathly afraid of heights. We've got critters in our attic, which of course, are coming in through a hole in the roof:
EXT. TH-413 - LADDER OUTSIDE BEDROOM WINDOW.
Juan
Uh, Bob... I can't move! I'm so f*ing scared of heights!
Bob
Come on Juan, you're like three rings up the ladder!
Juan
Tell...my wife....I love her...
Bob
Oh for Jupiter's sake Juan, just get on the roof.
Uh, Bob... I can't move! I'm so f*ing scared of heights!
Bob
Come on Juan, you're like three rings up the ladder!
Juan
Tell...my wife....I love her...
Bob
Oh for Jupiter's sake Juan, just get on the roof.
Juan slowly creeps up the ladder, sweat pouring off his forehead. Bob is right behind him, shaking the ladder as he works his way up to the roof.
Juan
Oh no Bob, you're not going to believe what's up here...
Bob
Roof tiles?
Juan
No amigo...Squirrels...
Oh no Bob, you're not going to believe what's up here...
Bob
Roof tiles?
Juan
No amigo...Squirrels...
Handyman Bob's face turns white, terror grips our hero as he begins to shake uncontrollably.
A squirrel stick his head out of the hole in the roof and begins to chuck nuts at our two heroes.
A squirrel stick his head out of the hole in the roof and begins to chuck nuts at our two heroes.
Bob
RUN JUAN! SAVE YOURSELF!
Juan
No Bob, there's no time, we have to fight back!
Bob
Juan, if I don't make it, tell your wife
that I loved her too....
RUN JUAN! SAVE YOURSELF!
Juan
No Bob, there's no time, we have to fight back!
Handyman Bob and Juan duck for cover behind a chimney.
Bob
Juan, if I don't make it, tell your wife
that I loved her too....
Fade to black. Roll credits.
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